The Difference Between Failure and Defeat? Character.

by Warren Moore

Yesterday the Instapundit linked to an article in the NYT Magazine that discussed efforts toward character education in some public and private schools up there. While in many respects I’m dubious about that sort of thing — having a wife who teaches in the public schools can be disillusioning that way — I think some of the virtues the schools are trying to teach seem interesting.

In particular, a key component of some of the programs is the development of what is called “grit”, a particular sort of perseverance that allows certain people to keep plugging when things aren’t working out. As one headmaster notes (and as Insty quotes):

“Whether it’s the pioneer in the Conestoga wagon or someone coming here in the 1920s from southern Italy, there was this idea in America that if you worked hard and you showed real grit, that you could be successful,” he said. “Strangely, we’ve now forgotten that. People who have an easy time of things, who get 800s on their SAT’s, I worry that those people get feedback that everything they’re doing is great. And I think as a result, we are actually setting them up for long-term failure. When that person suddenly has to face up to a difficult moment, then I think they’re screwed, to be honest. I don’t think they’ve grown the capacities to be able to handle that.”

I think he’s right, and I don’t have to look terribly far for evidence. I bounced around several colleges and universities before I got my B.A.. Part of that process was because I lost a full scholarship to the school I attended for two years. Likewise, after I finished the M.A., that university unilaterally decided that it should be a terminal degree and offered me an invitation to the larger world, which I pursued into a six-year career in trade and freelance journalism. At the end of those six years, my job title remained the same, and I was barely making enough to keep the lights on for my wife and kid.

In short, I’ve failed a lot over the years, but one of the things I learned from all of that was that there is a difference between failure and defeat. What that has meant in my case is that I came to understand that the world has no obligation to let me succeed or to fix my mistakes, and that if I want to improve my situation, I have to do it. I’ve learned that if I’ve tried something that hasn’t worked, I need to try something different, and that sometimes that means walking away from old dreams. ideas, or habits. You find another way.

I don’t know if that’s precisely what that headmaster means by grit, but it’s what I have. I think I owe however much of it I have to the toughness of my parents — like my father, who upon being diagnosed with cancer, said the disease “may kill me, but it will not beat me.” —  but I owe some of it to experience as well. You can watch other people get up after being punched in the face, and know it can be done, but there’s a different kind of knowledge that comes from taking the punch yourself, and we all take punches from time to time, even those of us who may have expected wealth, talent, or anything else to shield us from them. Even if we brought the blows upon ourselves (as I have done on numerous occasions over the years), what matters is absorbing them and continuing, even when you’re damaged.

As I’ve said, I don’t know if that’s really something the schools can teach. But it’s something we all need to learn.

Warren Moore is a regular contributor to The American Culture, and Associate Professor of English at Newberry College, in Newberry, SC. He also writes at his home blog, Professor Mondo.