by Mike Gray

Once in a blue moon Hollywood can revive a property that just about everyone can agree is an improvement—the third remake of The Maltese Falcon springs to mind. But that’s the exception that proves the rule. Much of the time ill-conceived and ill-executed revivals afford opportunities for backdoor tax write-offs, and in this economy—and with Tinsletown’s dearth of original ideas—that could be crucial to some film makers.

What I’ve seen of the preview material for the new Hawaii Five-O series convinces me that we don’t have another Maltese Falcon on our hands. I’d like to be proven wrong, really I would, but not if what I saw on CBS’s fall preview show is any indication of how this series will be going.

Just two instances: McGarrett and Danno in a fist fight—with each other!—like two bloodied bull sealions fighting over who gets to be in charge of the harem. In the original series, the two men had mutual respect for each other’s abilities—and Danno always deferred to McGarrett’s superior leadership—so this is pure science fiction.

Also: Guns, guns, guns are everywhere—and automatic weapons at that. McGarrett may have been running a special police group, but never an army. It’s a pretty good rule of thumb regarding action shows: Whenever a scriptwriter has his characters bust out the machine guns he’s already run out of ideas.

With the coarsening of culture and these hard economic times, the new Hawaii Five-O series might be a big hit. But I’m pretty sure there isn’t a blue moon this month.