by Mike Gray

A Field Guide to Left-wing Wackos: And What to Do About Them
by Kfir Alfia and Alan Lipton
Sentinel Books
ISBN: 978-1-59523-037-9
Hardcover: 245 pages
First published in June 2007

If A Field Guide to Birds crashed into a Mad magazine and then into Glenn Beck’s subconscious, this might be the result. Nevertheless, for college students and their concerned parents, A Field Guide to Left-wing Wackos could prove indispensable.

Funny, irreverent towards Leftist pretensions, and brilliantly illustrated, Alfia and Lipton’s book takes the wind out of the sails of the whole menagerie of Left-wing kulturkampfers.

Students getting their first exposure to the kampus kommissars should find it an enlightening tool in helping them steer the stormy seas of political correctness infested with Leftist professors and their unthinking minions.

Political “protests” can happen just about anywhere, but they seem to center on college campuses; students who are under the impression they’re there to learn can enhance their educations by observing who and what is commonly encountered at demonstrations.

Alfia and Lipton explain their methodology:

As field researchers we followed in the footsteps of Bronislaw Malinowski and Roger Torrey Peterson  and went on safari into the heart of liberal demonstrations. We discovered that left-wingers are much like other wildlife. Different groups of liberal protestors exhibited patterns that made them distinguishable by their appearance, their habitats, and even their calls.
…. We identified the left-wingers by their bizarre appearance. We visited their habitats. We recorded their cries. We walked up to left-wingers and started talking to them. We took their premises to their logical illogical conclusions. We punctured their moral self-righteousness. We showed them that the policies they endorsed actually led to what they were protesting against. With our acute powers of perception, and by just standing around a lot, we pierced the heart of liberal darkness.

The authors were able to identify 17 distinguishable sub-species of Left-wing protestors at just about every anti-war, anti-capitalist, and anti-traditionalist demonstration:

Anarchists – Communists – Intellectuals – College Students – Hollywood Activists – Blacktivists – Hacktivists – Proud Marys – Granolas – Peace Moms – Self-hating Vets – Acid Freaks – Dylan Wannabes – Performance Artists – Islamothugs – Closet Nazis – Security Goons – and an 18th variety that can normally be found on the periphery wondering just what the heck is going on: Employed White Males.

Each sub-species is first defined and then described according to these criteria:

Identifying Characteristics – The Origin of the Species – Behavior – Habitat – Call or Slogan (if any) – The Party Line – In Their Own Words – Required Reading (if they are capable of producing anything that approaches coherent writing) – Best of Breed – Handling Tips (Levels one through three).

Last time I checked Amazon.com, A Field Guide to Left-wing Wackos was selling for just about two bucks. Get it while it lasts.

Alfia and Lipton are the founders of ProtestWarrior.