Michael Phelps’s endorsement of Frosted Flakes cereal has raised the ire of food nazis who worry that kids will ingest more sugar than they would if he endorsed something else.

Keep this man away from your breakfast table, experts warn 

Food nazis are blasting swimmer Michael Phelps, winner of a record-setting eight gold medals in this year’s Olympic Games, for endosing a breakfast cereal. The New York Daily News reports, in an article pretty openly agreeing with the swimmer’s critics:

Olympic legend Michael Phelps will appear on boxes of the Kellogg’s brand sugar cereal, drawing sharp criticism from health experts worried about the message he’ll be sending to children across America.

"I would not consider Frosted Flakes the food of an Olympian," said nutritionist Rebecca Solomon of Mount Sinai Medical Center.

"I would rather see him promoting Fiber One. I would rather see him promoting oatmeal. I would even rather see him promoting Cheerios."

Fiber One? What kind of a kid is going to eat Fiber One? You could put Spongebob Squarepants’ picture on the box and kids would still hate the stuff. And rightly so. We adults eat it because, well,  you know why.

Children burn lots of calories if their schools let them get some exercise once in a while. The big problem is that the schools in this nation are almost exclusively run by government and therefore have no respect for either their customers or for simple common sense. Hence they have cut back on recess and gym in favor of activities that are less likely to bring liability lawsuits and of classes intended to help raise the kids’ grotesquely poor scores on the standardized tests required by NCLB, lest the children be sent to real schools where they’ll actually learn something. So the kids are bloating up like blueberries.

Let’s hope Phelps sticks to his guns and ignores these meddling busybodies. 

After all, when it comes to figuring out what’s good for you, whom are you going to believe, a pasty-faced "nutrutionist" or a guy who can swim faster than a motorboat?